Dear Finals,

I am very tired of you. You steal at least one entire month per semester, keep me from cooking my favorite foods, stress me out and steal my sleep. You ruin my self esteem and sometimes make me cry. I get cranky and irritable from all the bad food I'm eating, and let's be honest - when I the only vegetables I am getting are from take-out salads simply because you came back into my life, I am going to hate you. You make me sit in uncomfortable chairs for long periods of time, so my back hurts all the time. The weather is gorgeous, yet I've only seen the sun once in the last three weeks. I consume inordinate amounts of Dr. Pepper and candy just to survive our relationship, and while I do love my Dr. Pepper, I hate that your existence drives me to drink. My laundry piles to the ceiling, my house is a wreck, my car hasn't seen love in months. Ham especially hates you. Because of you, she gets very neglected. I haven't been able to change her fluff in almost two weeks because you are worse than a jealous mistress. How could you cause me to treat such a sweet helpless little animal so poorly?!

{Ham showing how neglected she is/how empty her food bowl is}

{Ham went so nuts one night that she somehow put her house on top of her food bowl. Breakfast in bed, anyone?}

Fortunately, our on-again, off-again relationship is finally OFF. Again. Ham and I are very happy for that, and I bid you GOOD RIDDANCE.

Yours in love and Business Associations hate,

Sarah